Scots, Scotch, and a little Irish

One of my part time interests is Scotch; not the tape but the whisky. Scotch is as varied and diverse as the people who make it. Scots invented several things I find interesting as a matter of fact; maybe not practical but interesting nonetheless. Scots invented golf, bagpipes, and scotch whisky. I once read that golf is to sports what bagpipes are to music. I would say this is an apt comparison as both are alternately silly and frustrating while still hauntingly interesting.

For several centuries the Scots were the pit bulls of the world. No army worth its salt was without its Scots. The Scots have historically owed allegiance to no one but the clan and had a strange sense of honor that suggested serving as hired cannon fodder, shock troops, and soldiers of fortune in wars around the world was infinitely preferable to bending one’s knee to any man. On battlefields around the world the sound of the bagpipes meant the shit was getting ready to hit the fan and a lot of people were getting ready to meet violent ends. Fleeing poverty, a rigid class system, and perennially bad weather the Scots as soldiers of fortune were both efficient and feared wherever they appeared, and they appeared on battlefields the world over for a couple of centuries.

The Scots have historically been a pain to the rest of the world’s population. Obstinate, unyielding, clannish, and completely unfathomable to most every other race or group; the Scots have long been both the butt of jokes and the point of the sword. The English who are actually a bastard race of Angles, Saxons, Welsh, and Normans have on numerous occasions been so perplexed with what to do with the Scots that their best solutions have usually involved exporting them. First, they exported them to Ireland in an effort to repatriate that island with an English influence. This actually served to kill two birds with one stone; it got many of the Scots out of Northern England and it gave the Irish someone else to fight with besides the English. There is an old Irish saying that the only reason the Irish are still fighting amongst themselves is because they can’t find any other worthy opponents. The Scots seem to be an exception to this rule as Northern Ireland was emigrated with Scots by the English. The idea the English had was similar to the modern method of dealing with fire ants. One way to do this is to take some ants off of one hill and dump them on a nearby but separate hill. The fire ants will instantaneously begin to try to wipe each other out. While it seemed a good idea and is still actually bearing fruit in Northern Ireland as the Catholic and Protestant factions still fighting there today are actually the descendents of the Irish and the Scots respectively. To the horror of the English the two groups started to intermarry and produce a hybrid batch of even more fierce and obstinate fighters; the Scots-Irish.

The Scots-Irish were many of the earliest settlers in the North American Southern colonies. Pennsylvania, the Carolina piedmont areas, and later Georgia were their starting points in this country. Pennsylvania welcomed them until they found they were impossible to control as they spread ever westward onto new lands and began causing numerous problems with the Native American Indian tribes the colony had historically cooperated with. Spreading quickly across the unsettled western lands of the colonies, they were historically on the forefront of the frontier, unwilling or unable to abide by rules not of their own choosing they pushed all the way into Georgia where many of them came in as indentured servants released from debtor’s prisons in return for a term of servitude. They steadily progressed across the southeast and out to the western United States, always on the edge of civilization. Violent, vindictive, and unyielding they have historically been at the forefront of American armies and the leading edge of new settlements. Anyone who has ever felt a chill at the sound of bagpipes may have some of that blood coursing through their veins. Marked by an abundance of pride and a tendency towards vigilantism the Scots-Irish often became the face of frontier America.

Several years ago I began to take an interest in Scotch Whisky. I don’t claim to be an expert but I do claim to be an avid consumer. The first thing to understand about Scotch is that there are many different grades, flavors, and types. Single malts are made entirely of barley malted entirely from one distillery as opposed to blended Scotch which is often blended from several different vats. As a rule of thumb, single malts are usually better in quality and taste.

Scotch is somewhat like wine in that it tends to take on the flavor of the land from which it springs. Water and soil mixtures flavor the barley from which it is distilled as well as the water which is used to make the whisky itself. It is something of a matter of personal taste as to what it good scotch vs. not so good scotch but I will list a few of my favorites and not so favorite.

1) Oban- Oban comes in several different ages as do most Scotch Whiskeys. Oban is from the west coast town of Oban. It comes from one of the smaller distilleries with only two pot stills on site. If you want to taste a good single malt, I recommend Oban highly. It is a little pricey but you get what you pay for with this one.

2) Aberlour- Aberlour comes in several different agings and several different types of casking combinations. The twelve year old variety is my favorite so far and is a little less pricey than Oban; but with the same kind of distinct flavor. Aberlour comes from the town of Aberlour near Speyside, Scotland where the rivers Lour and Spey cross. The uniqueness of the climate and water makes for a smooth and distinct flavor; well worth the cost and a pleasure to drink.

3) Famous Grouse- Famous Grouse is a blended scotch, made primarily from a combination of Glennrothes, Highland Park Single Malt, and Macallan Single Malt. It is a very interesting blend; relatively inexpensive but smooth and easy to drink. Maybe it says something of my own Scots-Irish nature that my standby every day Scotch is a cheaper blended whisky but this is a good one if you are on a budget.

4) Macallan Single Malt- Macallan is a premium single malt that I personally think is something less than good. I much prefer the Famous Grouse above to its more expensive ingredient of this single malt. Somewhat of a fruity taste and a harsher alcohol taste are it’s signature as far as I can tell.

5) Balvenie- Another Speyside Single malt. The distillery is based in Dufftown, Scotland. If you are going to buy a single malt I wouldn’t recommend this one. A little less fruity than the Macallan’s but without the smoothness of Aberlour, I would say it is a little better than Macallan’s and a little worse than the Famous Grouse…. But then I don’t claim to be an expert.

6) Glen Moray- Another Speyside Single malt. Glen Moray started life as a brewery and was later converted to a distillery. It fell into disrepair and hard times as the owners concentrated more on Aberlour but was at some point purchased by Glenmorangie. I recently bought a bottle at a bargain price and would recommend it highly. Not as good as Aberlour or Oban, it is nonetheless better than many of the more expensive single malts listed above.

7) Glenmorangie- A single malt having the distinction of the tallest stills in Scotland. Glenmorangie is made in Tain, Rosshire, Scotland whatever that means. It is a smooth whisky with a somewhat fruity taste. I would rate it lower than it rates itself but if you like a fruitier taste it would probably be an excellent choice.

8) Speyburn Single Malt- I recently purchased a bottle of this single malt at a bargain basement price. I was rewarded with what was described as a full bouquet smell of apple when I opened the bottle. If you want to smell apples go to the farmer’s market. If you want a bouquet buy flowers. Speyburn resembles many things; unfortunately one of them is not Scotch. I actually tried to carry it back and when they wouldn’t take it back I told them to just pour it out. Paint thinner might not have its bouquet or “nose” but it probably tastes as much like Scotch.